2021 - Generation C

 We felt a little like fugitives hopping on the plane to Singapore just before Christmas 2020 to escape to Christmas. The story starts here even though this is really a reflection on 2021. Flying on an empty plane with a few contingent of diligent staff is a great luxury making travel magical again. It had helped that we'd not been on a plane for a year or so. We were reminded of our fugitive status as we were herded off the plane for our layover - Singapore is known for being strict but this was another level of control to avoid any contagion. We were sent to am almost entire wing of the airport to keep our distance. I did quite enjoy ordering brisket noodles and having it delivered to our sector!

Arriving in Adelaide was when we realised we'd reached peak madness when our military escort transferred to our hotel. Peppers on Waymouth was to be our home for 14 nights, which was actually 16 days including the arrival day and the last day. We survived the ground-hog day vibe, just, through a regular cadence of yoga, pilates, reading spy books and playing with a then 4 month old Adelaide. Sleep was a real challenge would much activity to help take the edges off jet lag.

We were finally free and for Mum and Raph is must have been very weird to meet Adelaide for the first time. The hipster flat while and chicken breakfast burger tasted so sweet with the extra dose of freedom. After all the restrictions being in the open air, bright summer sun and the prospect of 11 weeks of fun was intoxicating...

Our rough itinerary for the trip was:

3 weeks in Adelaide

1 week in Robe

1+1 week in Jan Juc (thanks for some extra days due to restrictions!)

A few short days in Melbourne

1 week at Bondi Beach 

1 week on the Pittwater at Lovett Bay

2 weeks back in Adelaide

The Hilux added about 12,000km to its life. And I made myself really miss my friends in Australia. The lucky country will have to wait for us to live there.

It turned out to be more difficult to find a new place to move into once we returned, having put our entire life into a small storage box while we travelled. After a stay with our Swedish-Aussie friends we made a new home in at Carlton Mansions. Looking back my resistance to that flat was more a general hatred and anxiety when moving houses but it's turned out to be a lovely flat.

One of the real highlights for 2021 -and one that I hope will sustain into perpetuity- is the friendships made through parenting. We have/had a wonderful crew from the NCT and extra special is the small gang that formed around Adelaide's attendance at Carlton Hill Nursery. Our Filipino, Dutch, English, Swedish, Aussie and French gang really had a great year! Whether it was meeting on Friday evenings at the Elgin for speed-beers or in Paddington Rec for poppudums and white wine on a balmy weeknight or our Christmas dinner at the Summerhouse, i'm grateful.

The other highlight of the year was our summer jaunt to France. Taking the opportunity to spend 5 weeks in the Jura to work remotely turned out to be a great decision. Adelaide was able to spend a load of time with super-nanny Genevieve while Peggy was able to enjoy her swims in the lakes nearby. I was very happy to have open roads to stretch the cycling legs. We enjoyed having friends visit at various points and also celebrate Adelaide's first birth with various generations of cousins. Adelaide really grew up over that short period - not quite standing but definitely growing out of baby stage into a small toddler. The penultimate leg of that trip was to visit Cap Ferret. This has now been burned into my mind as the ultimate summer holiday location. Surfing in the Atlantic, evening oysters from the basin and riding bikes whimsically in the balmy breezes....it doesn't get much better (except to maybe own a place there - a different project!).

Escaping to Amsterdam for Jochim's 40th meant another little escape from London and the day-to-day. I've always liked Amsterdam and this was by far the best trip. Partly because it is very approachable with Adelaide and partly Peggy and I were able to take some lovely walks together along the canals.

And then everything became a blur. From late September I went into a hole of intense work. I was to say the challenge was enjoyable but I'm not sure. I learnt a lot, about tech companies and about my work and myself. But it took its toll, I think. While that engagement will continue next year it will need to happen on different terms, somehow.

I was crawling to Christmas, working up until the 21st December this year. The Jura in winter is a totally different proposition - the upside was to get a few delicious skis in incl. one on skins, the downside is all the hassles of managing an old house freezing over. It did feel like that for a few days every minute something else would break or stop working. At the time of writing i'm on a train to Geneva because our rental car broke down and I need to pick up the replacement a 2hr train ride away.

We're off to Cervinia on the 27th til the 3rd to enjoy some high alps. I've not skiied near the Matterhorn so am excited for that (and the shenanigans that go with the ski group).

Wishing you all a wonderful 2022. It's going to be huge!

/a

Hopes and dreams

This week was a real transition week. They don't happen too often but when they do, these transitions are visceral. As move from the preparatory phase of childbirth to one where it's real and it's happening and moreover it is the start of a new chapter in all our lives. It could be called adulthood as much as it could just be considered an shifting of hopes and dreams. That shift is now towards wanting the best for our case Adelaide Coco. She's strong, tenacious and already very curious of the world.

She doesn't yet have hopes, except for maybe making sure the next batch of breast milk is as delicious as the last. We do have hopes for her though. They start with her being happy and healthy - so far so good. We are indulging ourselves to look even further into the future at hopes for her. The monte-carlo simulation of options is widely scattered at the moment on what those outcomes could be. She has many years ahead of her to work out how that will play out.

Dreams, well she's having plenty by the looks of her eye-activity while sleeping! But I think while so young those patterns are just synapses forming as she makes sense of the little family bubble around her.

What a joy it has been so far. Day 5 - here's to many more!

Hunters and gatherers

A realisation dawns. The fridge and cupboards are bare. And the tummy rumbles. Grab a bag and go. Stalking prey - but this shop is closed. The usual holes in the wall where food is abundant - closed. The easy prey is a better risk/return. But stalking that prey takes work. Get in line, two metres apart from your fellow hunter and gatherer. Stalk, stalk, pounce. I‘m in. Some treats remain - be considerate and rational. What? There‘s no evian water only badoit? A disaster. How will people cope. Strained nerves and shoulders upon return - one more hurdle to overcome. Success - Netflix on, piping hot food and a luke cold beer. Hunting and gathering complete.

A week in Israel

The country of so many contrasts, conflicts, comparisons and colours! See pics from our recent trip to Israel. It was an absolute joy!
https://photos.app.goo.gl/rqVLyx64oChvdy5Y9

Benjamin Button?

There‘s every chance my heart stopped in the accident and the person giving CPR got me back going.

If so, I was sort-of dead.

My recovering is therefore a bit of a Benjamin Button moment. Every day I get a little more like a person my current age. At the start I was dead. Then I was lying in bed with full care. Then I was recovering, just able to get out of bed. Eight weeks on, I still wake up sore and achey. I‘m told that what‘s getting old feels like.

I can‘t wait to get back to feeling my usual age, and then staying there as long as possible.

The bigger the city

A business school friend of mine who grew up in a small town in Germany once told me, upon response that i was moving to London, that „the bigger the city, the lonlier you are“.

I‘ve been lucky that since moving to London 6+ years that has not been explicitly the case. I‘ve been fortunate to know a good number of people in London (it was one of the key reasons for leaving Frankfurt for London) and met many more along the way. My key issue in my social life is i‘m never in London - i’m constantly travelling for work. But that‘s a whole other story!

Since the accident and wearing a halo brace i‘ve been fascinated by the level of attention i have / have not received. I‘m far from inconspicuous. Yet - many people don‘t even look, drop eye contact once caught looking or simply don‘t ask what happened or i‘m ok or need help. Children are an exception - they will stare and usually ask their parents what happened. On the tube few people actively offer a seat.

This is a big city phenomenon. Interesting it is a phenomenon that attracts people to big cities. I have heard in my circle of friends the term „anonymity“ mentioned a few times. People choose to live in big cities to be anonymous - to walk down the street not being seen, to not be interrupted at a restaurant, to feel they are not judged and can do as they feel. Small fish in a big pond. We all know those people and we also know those who are the opposite - they like being the big fish in a small pond.

To be clear i‘m not seeking attention!

Outside of friends and family i‘ve only been asked 9-10 times if i‘m ok or „what happened?“. The last one, just moments ago out the front of a busy Farringdon Station on a beautiful autumn‘s day, was a retired nurse from Melbourne. Of all places, she‘d worked in the Women‘s and Children Hospital in Melbourne in the spinal care ward. A typical nosey nurse or someone just used to a small community of medicos or someone used smaller sized city? Who knows. But it was a lovely chat - to hear about her double bipass and mechanical heart valve implants, her victory over breast cancer and her recent fall smashing her wrists.

Stopping to say to every person you meet on your way to a meeting in any reasonably sized town let alone city would be highly inefficient. However, it is a gesture of human connection that adds to the rich tapestry of our lives that i argue here can happen in a big city or small one by simply learning when is appropriate and then actively asking people how they are or if they need help or what happened. Especially in a world when everyone i glued to their ~6.1 inch appendage that dominates day to day.

 Can our EQs develop to handle this human connection in big as well as small cities? With some awareness and a little less self centricity perhaps its possible and we‘ll all be better for it.

To be or not to be

Someone said to me once „only boring people get bored“. That statement has been bouncing around in my head for the past few weeks as I put myself squarely in the slow lane to recover. See The Tumble

Of course, recovering from a C-spine injury needs to happen at its own pace and in the context of the person. In my case, I was very fit and active at the time. Life was moving fast - we were preparing for a wedding, I was commuting to Johannesburg for work almost every week, I was building a bank from scratch, I was doing bike tours each weekend and we were trying to spend time with our friends across Europe. It was busy. You could argue it was too much.

I have gone from that pace of life to sleeping 8-10 hours each night, a coffee walk to The Elgin, napping during the day, reading (Calypso and Harry Potter!), watching Netflix (Fauda has been great!) and enjoying the companionship of visitors (thank you for taking the time out to visit!). That is a full day for me, now. One I get to enjoy for the time being.

But even then it is too easy to spend 1-2 hours mindlessly scrolling Facebook, Instragram and the news for some little dopamine hit. Sometimes I crave a little more of a hit and sneak a look at my work emails, heaven forbid. We have tuned our brains for constant stimulation. I think that divides us into two groups - one that creates and one that consumes. I am sad that I feel I‘ve largely fallen on the ‚wrong‘ side of that. I say ‚wrong‘ because I aspire to be more of a creator using consumption as inspiration. Today I feel I consume far to much.

One activity I‘ve not mentioned so far is taking (long overdue) French lessons. As I write it occurs to me that language is of course the medium that facilitates the creation and consumption. Spoken language is one medium vs art or otherwise. I‘m very much enjoying studying the French language at the moment. Être ou ne pas être.

I think you have a choice whether to keep your self suitably busy when in recovery or not. That may need outside stimulus or training ahead of time. I see it important - just as important as the physical/physiological recovery is the mental/psychological recovery. I‘m testing whether creation is a better way to recover than consumption! So, I choose to be / être, at least for the moment.

The tumble

Having a fall and then realising you can’t feel your legs or your hands is terrifying. Truly terrifying. Short of knowing you are going to die, there can’t be many more terrifying situations.

In my case it was momentary. Lying on my back on the bitumen, seeing my arms and legs in the air and not being able to feel them, I promptly passed out. The ambulance records say a GP doctor who happened to be walking along Travistock Road in Fitzrovia, London, quickly came to my aid and began CPR until the ambulance arrived. The ambulance took four minutes to arrive, get me on a stretcher and whisk me away to St Mary‘s hospital in Paddington. Given how sore and compressed my chest was I felt all four minutes of CPR; from a person I don’t know nor likely ever will. He (I think) will forever be an unknown hero to me.

I’m getting told to slow down and take it easy as I get discharged from hospital today (17th August). After 10 days in hospital and 8 days in a halo I have many months of recovery ahead of me. But it’s hard to not to search for that little rush of dopamine after completing a task the physio or doctors set quicker or more strongly than expected. After all, I spend most of my „normal“ days seeking some sort of positive reinforcement for my actions. At work I solve problems for my clients and seek to define the impact we create. In the consulting firm I work for I seek to get good reviews from my colleagues for that work. This all feeds into my end of year assessment, bonus structure and therefore the luxuries we can afford. For sport each targeted session results in increased fitness which allows me to ride faster for longer. At home, each good deed and contribution to the household results in increased happiness as a couple. Action and reaction. But resting doesn’t feel like an input. And that’s where the big reminder lies.

I am repairing four vertebrae: C2 that is split in two, C3 that is split in three and C4 + C5 that are mush with multiple hairline fractures. I am repairing the bruising on the spinal cord through immobilisation as well as a fractured clavicle. Ideally, also, the second of my two vertebral arteries that supply the brain with oxygen, that closed under the swelling, will open up. That I‘m even writing to you today shows how extraordinarily lucky I‘ve been given the huge trauma on my neck. I escaped major spinal surgery so now there is only one thing to do: let the body heal itself.

The NHS Paramedics, Doctors, Nurses, Physios, Occupational Therapists and support staff have been incredible. I called some of the equipment they had to work with „optional“ because it was optional that they worked. The taps sometimes worked, there were blackouts, the heating/cooling was binary: either Saharan hot or Alaskan cold, and all the while they maintained a dedicated focus on care. The first question was always: „are you in pain“? And we worked each day from there. Their support for Peggy was always very considered. If we needed more time together they would give it. If we wanted more information, they would seek to provide it. Often all that was needed was a friendly hello in the corridors to make the place feel a little more human. And that‘s what counts.

I had been intensely working for the last two months with a client in South Africa to build a greenfield Corporate Bank. While lying in A&E immediately after the accident it was a relief to know that they would understand the situation. I let go of that worry like a helium balloon. I am very grate from the support from the team and the client for that compassion.

I can‘t wait to get on my bike again. We have requested the CCTV footage from the camera in the street to determine how I came off the bike. Accidentally hitting the street furniture divider between the bike lane and the main road is just plain odd (albeit not impossible!). That there were no other cars around is lucky. When Peggy inspected my clothing after it was cut off me in the Ambulance there were no signs of a fall. My Kask Protone helmet was split in multiple pieces and the foam heavily compressed (there is no doubt it saved my brain). I was otherwise unscathed. Crazy. But there‘s no need to cry over spilt milk. That time has passed. For me the form of transport that fills me with the most joy is cycling. It always has and always will. Do wear your helmet people, all times! Please!

To Peggy, my sister who flew over and close friends in London that visited especially Phil, Kat and Hanne: thank you. In times of need we all need strong people around us. You were amazing. And also amazing for the support you gave Peggy who rose to the challenge of this adversity in such a strong and loving way. I love you.

For now the priority is keeping clean, rest and managing the pain medication. I will keep you posted!

My faves in London

Classic boozers

• The French House: Soho classic – always rammed: https://goo.gl/maps/qbecjhrCXcXnceFBA
• Gordon’s Wine Bar: great (but busy) in summer: https://goo.gl/maps/DF5nUes8nGkSBSMJ9
• Barley Mow: OW’s haunt in Marylebone: https://goo.gl/maps/3hsJNWMVj3BP717L7
• The Elgin: my local: https://goo.gl/maps/ryFZ1qxFEadU9CDR7
• Owl & Pussycast – old school Shoreditch: https://goo.gl/maps/ryFZ1qxFEadU9CDR7

Food

• St John’s: the original nose to tail eating: https://goo.gl/maps/2yEtkFdEKgSWvi6d7
• Anchor and Hope: top shelf english pub fare: https://goo.gl/maps/RKJfeNgRqfiquaKe9
• Morito: Exmouth Market’s epic tapas: https://goo.gl/maps/wiEFDawKotfGDUHk9
• Jose: Bermonsey casual wine and tapas: https://goo.gl/maps/U7nknkuwmenpmWmeA
• Ham Yard: excellent breakfasts: https://goo.gl/maps/aarBegJBanzJ8Zr87
• Hide: even more excellent breakfast: https://goo.gl/maps/xhXcXZNE5yixNet96
• Chillicool: chinese feast: https://goo.gl/maps/p7C2THiZkmw4S1m57
• Texas Joe’s: Excellent smoked meat: https://goo.gl/maps/5tcsh6WsLChZDGUHA
• Café TPT: my favourite chinese st food: https://goo.gl/maps/n1BgLuJEPNMQnizf9
• Joe Allen: Late night American diner for those who’ve just performed or watched a show: https://goo.gl/maps/FyCEmL5FTkGAxecr8
• Palomar: Soho’s finest Jerusalem: https://goo.gl/maps/n1BgLuJEPNMQnizf9
• Yalla Yalla: Lebanese street food: https://goo.gl/maps/WDq9xbAgCPbbkGqw5
• Providores: antipodean breakfast: https://goo.gl/maps/SDDuENuW4RGefYuz9
• Leila’s breakfast: quiet amongst the storm of S’ditch: https://goo.gl/maps/jtM2iR5AQ69BhNGU6

Places to go for one thing:

• Dishoom: the breakfast naan and bottomless chai is everything you need: https://goo.gl/maps/EAi4j5SNbjvR2Ese7
• Ginger Pig: epic sausage roll: https://goo.gl/maps/v5uADHKwW7CzjuAr8
• Kanada-Ya: for me the best ramen outside of Japan: https://goo.gl/maps/nro7KPwSmUQPKKRk8
• Berner’s Tavern: next level mac n cheese (stunning dining room): https://goo.gl/maps/BYHAtJWrf3kq3yS37
• Tommy’s Burger: my fav dirty burger: https://goo.gl/maps/ZrMgLBxHiej7Mof89
• Beigel: load up on mustard: https://goo.gl/maps/8BCmhPyr293DBEz58
• Padella: fresh pasta: https://goo.gl/maps/GiL22qKjVCRdZunX8
• Sea Containers Bar: Lyaness for the view of the city: https://goo.gl/maps/dog5bxFkBvDid5CY6

A bit different:

• Cafe Kick: big focus on table football: https://goo.gl/maps/BwjZbH88b65k2K53A
• Bermondsey Arts Club: Cocktails in an old underground loo: https://goo.gl/maps/BwjZbH88b65k2K53A
• Maltby St Markets: There are plenty of good markets but this is my fav: https://goo.gl/maps/wohb1QGuQuoDWD1D9
• Boundary Hotel: Rooftop for the drinks and view: https://goo.gl/maps/qpkj1i5ufrBQJDcb8

Some favourite UK rides

Long Hertfordshire - Westmill ride

https://www.strava.com/activities/329916372

Long Henley Ride

https://www.strava.com/activities/1583949213

Long Surrey hills loop

https://www.strava.com/activities/975039062

​​​​​

Long Essex Blue Egg ride

https://www.strava.com/activities/872808109

Marathon thoughts

Some notes I wrote for work colleagues in prep for the 2016 Edinburgh Marathon

-

Runners!

I hope everyone is excited about the weekend. Someone has done their sun-dance and it’s looking like perfect running weather.

I promised Matthew some race tips but am sharing with the wider group. These are focused on the full marathon but these apply pro rata to the half and relay too.

Three topics below:

1. Race strategy
2. Pacing the race
3. Fuel management

1. Race strategy – how will you approach the race?

As I was thinking about what to write I came across this site: https://runnersconnect.net/coach-corner/marathon-race-strategy/

It covers the points I wanted to raise. I also share the views presented…so, I suggest you read this! It also has a handy splits calculator…

This is how I will approach the race:

0 – 10km: as relaxed as possible, as steady as possible, run just behind the pacers, run my own race, find my own space, begin eating and drinking early, enjoy the sun and the sounds and the people spectating

10 – 25km: find a rhythm, think about running upright and efficiently, be relaxed in the shoulders, neck and face, keep focused on a steady pace and maintain steady intake of food and water

25 – 35km: reflect on the training sessions done to get confidence I’ve done the work, keep good posture and foot placement, remind myself to enjoy the race, prepare myself mentally that the ‘hard bit’ is coming, prepare myself physically by being hydrated / fed and relaxed

35 km + : begin to push away from the pacer and the edge up the splits (aiming for consistent negative splitting), think positive (never: “must not stop”, but always: “this is great, keep going”), begin to visualise the finishing line and get excited about the finishing time. If I’m in trouble, ease off and look for rhythm and consistency in order to recompose myself.

2. What’s your race pace – how fast can I run?

There are lots of calculators around. I find them to be bullish. As good consultants, I’d add a buffer of ~5% to the times to be prudent. That being said here is one you could use that does add an amount to factor in fade.  http://www.runnersworld.com/pace-calculators/race-times-predictor

I’d focus on setting a pace that:

1. Feels ‘too comfortable’ and ‘slow at the start’ – it’s a long run and you will get tired later so keep your powder dry
2. Don’t fall into the trap of flying and dying – there is a lot of excitement and adrenaline floating around at the start of the race, enjoy it but don’t let it distract you
3. You feel that sets a good base to be able to ‘negative split’ ie your splits at the end of the race are faster than at the start (not always possible but should be your goal for a consistent race)
4. Aligns to your training. The calculators help you calibrate expectations

3. Fuel management – what is your eating and drinking plan?

It’s useful to remind yourself how much energy you will be using vs what you can store comfortably. http://www.runnersworld.com/fitness-calculators/calories-burned-calculator

My goal is to not be hungry or thirsty at the end of the run.

To do that:

• Pre-run: I’ll eat early in the morning (6ish) to give myself some time to digest and get comfortable with the food
• During the run: I will aim to drink a mouthful of water every 5mins and every 15mins have a small bit of energy bar. In aggregate I should drink ~1L and 800 calories.

This doesn’t sound like a lot but…

1. It does close the gap between input and output
2. It’s not too much to upset my stomach
3. My brain will subconsciously release more energy with small bites as it thinks it will get more energy (ie not feel it is getting stressed and hold off energy).

There are other plans out there. It’s important to have a plan! I’ll tell you my Berlin marathon experience during the weekend (spoiler: eating too late, getting hypoglycaemia, collapsing, being unconscious for 20mins and spending a few hours in hospital! I don’t recommend it)

Two weeks in Iran

Peggy and I had a truly incredible trip to Iran over the European Easter 2018. It cooincided with Nowruz, the Iranian New Year.

Check out our photos here: https://photos.app.goo.gl/bSVCvC603tXDAWV92

Some thoughts on our trip below...

Theocracy

• Every country has their trade-offs and hypocrisies, Iran is no different
• we've seen plenty of crack users in the street yet open shoes are forbidden in some parts
• modesty is a virtue but at the same time the culture has moved to an #instagramculture. We saw layers of make up, love of fake brands, fake booty pants and nose jobs (men too needed to cover their legs but almost anything goes
• Then there is the usual rich vs poor and corruption

Friendliness

• Overwhlemingly friendly, offering food, rugs, hospitality
• key question: „Iran is good?“
• key phrase: „welcome to Iran“
• only told to „suckmydick“ once by a guy who was pissed about the British and assumed I was a decedent of the British...
• Many people went out of their way in the street to welcome us or help
• A few tried to rip us off but quickly saw their ways
• You can try cleaning up after yourself, but no that‘s done by someone else

Geography

• Deserts vs oases
• Mountains vs plains
• Tehran vs Mesr
• Huge long open highways vs narrow bazaar alleyways
• Incredible mosques and Islamic achitecture vs slum housing

Food

• Fereni was my vice
• Eggplant (hallim bedamjan, mirza gazemi)
• Dizi
• OMG the bread
• Drinks: Sekanjabin (Cucumber drink)
• No alcohol: you don‘t miss the upside of booze only notice the absence of the downside

Daily life

• Spent in parks
• Restaurant always in bigger groups
• up early, up late
• Money is tricky due to inflation adding a zero...sometimes if they couldn‘t speak english they would take money caefully from your hand, give you the change and wave you on
• Anything big in the 90s: volleyball, ceasar salad, mullets,
• Nomadic life
• Thermos, kebab skewers, gas bottle, rugs and blanckies
• Young girl doing her homework early morning
• Stay with family unit throughout the day
• Side if highway, under a tractor / truck etc, in city parks