Crashing out at Praful's pad was a welcome break. He has a great apartment with an open living room and big terrace. After not really sleeping properly a little afternoon nap was very enjoyable and needed. We had lunch at Forum (the big mall nearby) and did some last minute shopping to a) kill time and b) for the realisation that our Indian adventure was quickly coming to a close. Praful had cooked dinner for us, which we thought was amazing even if he played it down as peasant food! Actually he had kept the chicken an extra day because he had expected us in Bangalore the day before not planning for the delay. Praful was a superb host! We made our way to bed relatively early as the wedding was to start the next morning at 6am.
Actually the wedding had already been going for two days for the bride and groom. Vani and Avinash had been going through a number of rituals and ceremonies. This third day, of four, was more for guests than the family. We arrived in our full outfits - Kurtas and pyjamas - at 6:30am. The wedding hall was a little out of town but after lots of asking of locals Praful safely got us there! There was a welcome chai at the door and we were introduced to various 'uncles' of the family. There are real uncles (brothers of the father) and also uncles referring to older men who were friends of the family. This was the polite term for older males. We actually had no idea what to expect of this wedding. We had heard incredible stories of large events with white horses, dancing, pomp and ceremony however there was none of that here. The wedding hall at this early hour was relatively empty. Some friends and family had gathered before work to watch some ceremonies. The four piece band was sure punching out some fierce noises for that early in the morning. Avinash, all kitted out in a white saree was being put through his ceremonial paces although no one seemed to be able to tell us what was going on! The morning part of the ceremony included a number of parts that we could work out. One was where Avinash was standing behind a large quilted curtain and Vani brought out on the other side. She was dressed in a saree and had a large (heavy looking) headpiece, lots of jewllery and henna art. The idea of the curtain was that they were not allowed to see each other. When the curtain was dropped a lot of rice was thrown around and a lot of cheering and prayers. Another seemingly important step was the pouring of rice over each others head. They stood in small nests so to speak, and took turns pouring various colours of rice over each other. What was cool to see what the sense of humour being shared between Vani and Avinash. He would make it hard for her to pour another handful of rice over him by standing tall and so forth. The sparkle in each others' eyes was noticeable and great to see considering for westerners it's hard to contemplate an 'arranged' wedding. The second big feature of the morning was for the two families to sit in a large circle with Vani in the middle. They then wound string around the circle and then after a few loops tied it off and twisted it into a short chain. The chain was dipped and rubbed in Tumeric and then the whole procedure again. The last of the main morning activities was the tying of the knots. Three knots are tied. One around the wrist with string, one around the body for Avinash and one around the neck of Vani and then the tying of the knot of their saree's at the back! Again, don't get me to explain what any of it meant because i'm sure there were very few people in the room who knew what was going on! We were very well hosted at the event. Of course we stood out like sore thumbs! Many of Avinash's friends and friends were there and he had told them we had travelled from far and wide to attend. They all made a special effort which was greatly appreciated.
Considering it was still morning, breakfast was on the cards. We went downstairs to the large dining hall. After washing our hands we were greeted by Vani's brother. He hosted us especially well. Breakfast and lunch were a similar memorable performance. Once seated at the stainless steel benches we were given a banana leaf, some water to clean the leaf and we waited for food to be served. In a train, a number of shirtless men dropped and slopped various portions of food on our banana leaf. It really was efficient! The food was delicious. The novelty of eating with our hands was still great and to see hundreds of people doing the same was a great experience. Having Avinash's friend, Santos, to walk us through it together with Praful was also kind of him. After breakfast we watched more of the various ceremonies and rituals. It went on with people coming and going. It was said that over 600 people were invited and came at various times during the day. It seemed everyone was in attendance with kids arriving dressed in their 'sunday best' through to elderly people coming for the visit as though they were visiting a coffee shop. The show kept rolling on with more noise, laughter by the bride and groom and just more stuff!
Santos took us for a tour of the bull temple and the general neighbourhood before lunch. Praful had headed off to work just after breakfast. This area was not so hectic as the main city. It was about half an hour from the city centre. Santos took a very well know street market called Ghandi Rd markets. Here stands were selling flowers, fruit, vegetables, spices in a variety of colour, size, shape and smell. Santos got us to taste all sorts of leaves and smell various spices. It was an impressive market I wish we had spent more time at. While walking the streets on our way back, Sarah noticed the chance to get a henna tattoo. Something she had wanted to do prior to the wedding, now she had the chance during it! After some solid haggling by Santos, Sarah got a great henna tattoo across the back of her hand, the palm and top of her foot. The thick muddy paste was carefully applied by a guy who seemed to have done a lot of them. He told her to wait 45 minutes before washing it off. Because there weren't any public places to wash off the brown goo Santos invited us back to his place nearby. He lived in a very well kept house. Actually he was not from Bangalore so had moved here with his wife. Not long after his parents also joined in the same house. I think also his grandmother was there. Like most indian families, it seems, they live as one big family unit. This includes all generations where possible. We were fed sliced apples and tea and watched some tv while the brown goo dried and eventually Sarah washed it off. We probably should / could have waited another few hours for the colour to really stain but in the end there was a strong colour showing depending on the thickness of the skin. I was a pretty cool souvenir to take home! Santos took us back to the wedding only to run into another friend from business Deepak. Fred and I weren't expecting to see him as he lives in Chennai. Cool to meet up with him as well - small world! Before long it was time for lunch. Again we made our way downstairs to have another great feed. The highlight, at least for me, was the dessert, which was a rice flour stringy cake covered in warm creamy milk and sugar. The milk melted everything together and it was simply gooey, stringy and sweet - pretty much my favourite three textures together! Then to eat it with your hands!!!! Oh how western food is so boring!
Being the kings of afternoon naps, the same was done again during the wedding. I was full as a goog from all the food consumed already! And it was not finished! We went home, chilled out, got dressed in normal clothes and returned later in the evening together with Praful. This time Avinasha and Vani were also dressed in non-ceremonial clothes rather suit and tie for Avinash and a saree for Vani. This part of the evening was most bizzare. Here the bride and groom, again withour too much ceremony made their way to the stage, as a couple, along the red carpet. We sat and drank a very strange red berry juice! The couple were positioned like a prom queen and king in front of a very kitsch white arch. This was the part when the crowd could participate. Here everyeone lined up along the red carpet and had the opportunity to have their photo taken with the bride and groom and family. What was strange was that I was told, the guests don't get a copy of the photos and while the parents might look at the photos, Avinash and Vani have no interest in seeing it. It was somehow a strange part of the ceremony to stand around and have photos taken in a bright hall! We gave our gifts, took a heap of photos and then headed downstairs for another meal. This time the dining hall was set up as more of a smorgasboard - all you can eat affair. There was no formal seating and we simply went ahead and got whatever food we fancied. While the line kept getting longer upstairs we hung out meeting more of Avinash's friends and stuffing our stomachs one more time! Luckily for us we were able to escape around 10pm. Avinash and Vani and the family left around midnight. Considering their day started at 3am, it was a long day.... All in all it was a pleasure and priveledge to attend their wedding. While it certainly wasn't what we had heard an Indian wedding would be like, it was a fantastic affair. The food, the people and ceremony of India once again was the highlight rather than the occaison itself.
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